It will be little consolation to Hull FC fans but John Betjeman seemed to know how they feel right now. “If anywhere’s the end of England and the end of land, it’s Hull,” the poetic sage once said. The club’s interim head coach, Simon Grix, is in that frame of mind, too.
Grix described their defeat in London in May as “at snake’s belly, the very bottom”, but asked supporters to be patient. Saturday at Elland Road was even worse and will test their loyalty to the max. Grix is perplexed that the club has gradually eroded its quota of “X factor players” to get to this state, where his injury-hit team included five shirt numbers in the forties and a number 52. London had the unique feeling of coming up against a side with as little experience as them at this level and took full advantage, much to the amusement of all but the Norman Hunter Stand lower tier.
Lacklustre throughout, Hull looked careless in possession, clueless in attack and perhaps even unfit. One former Hull player thought the Broncos could take a player off every minute for the closing stages and the Airlie Birds still wouldn’t add to their measly four points, as they went 70 minutes without scoring in a 29-4 defeat against Super League’s bottom team.
It is by no means unfeasible that London could gain a point more than Hull in the final five rounds of the season, producing the extraordinary prospect of the wooden spoon going to arguably the fourth-biggest club in the competition.
Grix is fully aware how mortifying that would be for half of the city. “No one wants the wooden spoon. It’s embarrassing for us. It’s been a tough year and we are going through a tough patch, but it will pass. There’s a lot of adversity at present. There’s a lot of noise and pressure in the city. There’s been a lot wrong and it’s coming home to roost this year.”
Missing much of their team’s bedrock, Hull FC need their remaining veterans to stand up and be counted. Instead, they keep going missing. “Mentally, we are not where we need to be and some of the senior players are not doing much to help the youngsters out there,” said Grix.
While his ludicrous flame mullet suggests flippancy, Brad Fash was suitably ashen as he discussed the latest shameful display by the club he loves. In contrast, the head of rugby, Richie Myler, went along the players’ tunnel out of Elland Road with a bounce in his step and surprising smile on his face, as if his ongoing clearout has been validated – again. The one bright light is teenage left-winger Liam Martin and his careering canters. Leaning forward as if desperate to get to his destination in a hurry, the former Hull City schoolboy eats metres like a young Billy Slater.
The rhetorical question “How bad are Hull?” has become almost a rugby league meme this year. Losing twice to London (it could easily have been all three) says it all, but Grix is keen to point out this is a long-term demise. Hull have been getting thrashed about once a month for three years now. The incoming coach, John Cartwright, has a mole in the camp – his son and second row, Jed Cartwright – and an ally in Myler, who is providing him with a star-studded roster for 2025.
Yet there must be some concern that next year’s “Hull Leopards” will just be another short-term fix, given how reliant Myler and Cartwright will be on a string of veteran recruits squeezing nine months’ more talent from their aching limbs. Grix has already warned Black and Whites fans not to expect too much of the new regime, given that many other Super League clubs have wealthy backers and several years’ head start on Hull.
His “holding role” has given him an insight into the psyche of both squad and staff, one that has left him biting his tongue. “It’s been an interesting few months, that’s for sure.”
The elephant in the room comes in the shape of the little red birds on the other side of the River Hull. The way table-topping Hull Kingston Rovers took Catalans apart on Sunday, to go back on top of Super League with a month to go, underlined their serious title credentials. If Rovers reach their first Grand Final in October it would be painful for the west side of the city. If they were to win their first title since 1985, Grix acknowledges it would be too much for most Black and Whites to bear.
Foreign quota
Only four of Hull’s seven overseas players made it to Elland Road and most of them went missing. Carlos Tuimavave left the field injured; Ligi Sao offloaded to no one on tackle zero,a moment highlighted by Grix as epitomising the shambolic mindset of his team; Cartwright dropped the ball over the tryline and Herman Ese’ese wasn’t on the pitch at the end.
When the hooter went, the Kiwi prop headed straight to the dressing room, oblivious that the referee, Liam Rush, had given a penalty to London. In fairness, half-dozen groundsmen were pitchforking the playing surface, the Hull mascot, Airlie Bird (standing perplexed on the 20-metre line), and the Sky Sports minions hauling the interview backdrop board on to the pitch thought the match as over. Ese’ese could have stayed on the field to get his shower: the sprinklers went off as the game ended in suitable farce.
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Clubcall: St Helens
It wasn’t just neither team wearing their trademark red and white that made Saturday’s encounter not feel like a proper Saints v Wigan game. As flat as the beer puddles in the fan zone late in the day, injuries and suspensions stripped the contest of big names in Jack Welsby, Darryl Clark, Lewis Dodd, Bevan French and Harry Smith, leaving a seemingly random queue of players to take up the pivot roles. A half-back battle of Jack Farrimond and Adam Keighran versus Ben Davies and Moses Mbye or James Bell was not the box office attraction we’ve come to expect. This shadow Saints side are struggling to hang on to a playoff place after losing 20-0, but the teenage full-back, Harry Robertson, has brought some joy. Robertson is so slim, his red and white headgear looked like those padded helmets you see NFL players wearing in training, but his fearless runs out of backfield are exhilarating.
Goal line drop out
Winning in a major football stadium is a sure-fire way to get Year 10 onside, so London’s victorious captain, Will Lovell, might be disappointed that Magic Weekend fell in the school holidays. He wanted to walk into Ewell Castle School in Epsom – where he teaches PE – on Monday morning to accept accolades from the kids, instead of the ribbing he’s had most weeks since February.
“It would have been easier going in,” said Lovell, who has another fortnight left of his Super League sabbatical from the reality of teaching full-time. “I’ve had some tough Monday mornings, I can assure you. But the kids love seeing their teacher on telly every week. They’ve been down to a few games and we’re trying to build a relationship between the club and school.”
Lovell is fully aware that this season’s Broncos band is on the verge of breaking up. “I’ve just told the boys to enjoy it every week, while we can. We know there’ll be a new class in next year, whatever happens.”
Fifth and last
Suggestions that league was heading down a one-way street towards gigantism appear to no longer be the case. Not only was the diminutive Oli Leyland architect of London’s victory on Saturday, but standing in the Elland Road mixed zone as the Saints and Wigan players trooped past, us mere media mortals didn’t have to gaze up at everyone. Wigan hooker Kruise Leeming could look down on teammate Tom Forber, Saints hooker Jake Burns is equally short and the vision of Wigan half-back Farrimond standing next to Sam Walters brought flashbacks to that famous photo of Rob Burrow looking up at his Leeds teammate Wayne McDonald towering more than a foot above him. The Rhinos No 7 would have loved it.
